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TRADITIONAL SOMERSET WASSAIL




Source of Recipe


the web


Recipe Introduction


It has long been the custom in these parts for me to give a little party on Christmas Eve. What a joy it is to see old friends gathered around my magnificent tree, their happy faces aglow in the candle-light and glasses charged with Christmas cheer.

As always, good organisation is the key to successful entertaining and I am careful to plan every detail of my seasonal soiree well in advance. Starting with a trip to the off-licence in early December, I work out a minute-by-minute timetable so that all my preparations will run without a hitch, right up to moment when my guests arrive. Then, when the church clock chimes eight o’clock and the first feathery flakes of snow fall softly on the frosted furrows of the Blackdown Hills, I can whip off my pinny, switch on the fairy lights and await the festive scrunch of Volvo tyres on my gravel.

To serve 30 people, you will need:




List of Ingredients




Five cases Claret

Nine litres dark rum

One firkin dry cider

One bottle cream sherry

An eggcup of freshly squeezed orange juice

Six cloves

An apple

Eight tablespoons of brown sugar



Recipe



Set the halogen hob to No 5 and pop a clean pinny over your party frock. Plump up the cushions on the sofa, run a duster over the mantelpiece and distribute little dishes of Twiglets, Cheesey Footballs and dry-roasted peanuts around the coffee tables. Using an upright vacuum cleaner, suck up any Christmas tree needles that have fallen onto the carpet. Carefully dismantle your appliance with a posi-drive screwdriver, disentangle the tinsel from the rotary arm, re-assemble and try again. Do not panic. Pour yourself a schooner of sherry and relax; you still have ten minutes. Check your lipstick in cloakroom mirror and give the basin and loo seat a final once-over with a damp cloth.

Using a clean corkscrew, open the Claret and pour into a large jam pan. Gradually spoon in the sugar, tasting after each addition, then place the pan on the pre-heated halogen hob. Warm gently but do not boil; take off your stockings if you are too hot.

Unscrew the rum bottles, pour a generous tot for yourself and tip the rest into an electric chip fryer, setting the pinger for five minutes. Meanwhile, pour the firkin of cider into a saucepan taking care to stop when the liquid reaches the brim. Mop up any spillages with a long-handled squeegee and store any left-over cider in your glass of rum.

Wash the apple thoroughly and drain it in one of those metal thingies with the holes in it. Club it with stoves ..... shove it with studs .... shtud it with cloves. Have I told you the one about the bishop and the cook with no cloves? No? Well....... no well, nowell, nowell, Born is the King of ..... Where was I? Ah, yes, the apple. Very very very very carefully put it on a braking dray .... baking tray and roll it .....wheeee.....into the jan pam ....pan jam.......pyjams. Why are you wearing your pyjams? Put on a little black frock at once. Ding dong merrily on high, ‘sh that angel voices I hear or the chip pan dinger ringing? Add the squishly freezed orange juice and slur shlowly. Round and round and round we go....... Here I come a-washailing, a-washailing, a-washailing .........