Native Texan "Dilly Chili"
Source of Recipe
the web
First ye take an onion......
Peel it.....
Dice it up really well........
Cook in cast iron skillet inherited from Grandma......
(Actually, for a large crowd, use the old cast iron Dutch Oven from Great Grandma)
Pour in about a quart of hot water.....
Dump in about 4 tablespoonsful of Chili Powder
(If you are lucky enough to have a strand of dried Chili Peppers hanging in your kitchen, for ornamentation.....grab a couple of them off the strand.....from the back, of course, so the strand still looks pretty)
Dump in as much salt as you think your blood pressure can tolerate.....and not so much as to make your ankles and feet swell up while standing over that big old pot, stirring for a couple of hours......
Take the Armadillo out of its shell......
(Please take solemn note of the above....those shells are REALLY crunchy!!!!!!)
Brown the meat in a microwave-safe bowl until gray
(Armadillos are gray, so you really have to work hard on this one, to be able to determine the degree of done-ness)
Dump the microwaved meat in the big pot
Ooops!!!!!!!!
I forgot.....
Add about a 16 ounce can of tomato sauce
And garlic
And tons of Cumin powder
And a pinch or two of Cayenne.......
Then procede with the meat addition......
Stir over a hot stove until your hair starts to frizz from all the steam in the kitchen....
Sample the recipe after stirring for a minimum of 2 hours.....
Dump in more Cumin powder
Dump in another Chili....
Or a few more tablespoons of Chili powder.....
Dump in some more salt.......
(After you check out your feet and ankles first)
Ditto on the Cayenne..........
And toss in some black pepper too
Dump in a pot of previously cooked black beans
(This is very important if you want to win a Cactus Dish-Garden....confuses the heck out of every Taster-Judge in the Ward......black beans really give the Chili a distinctive color........)
Dump about a half cup of flour into a small amount of cold water
Stir that, until it is sort of like the paste you made in grade school.......
Dump into Great Grandma's Dutch oven......
(Funny, my Granny was not even Dutch!!!!!)
Add more water and stir another 2 hours......
While getting ready to go to the cook-off, forget you left the pot on the stove, with the burner still on.......
Return to the kitchen, which now has a somewhat smoky smell and appearance...
Retrieve the plastic stirring spoon from the pot....
DO NOT SCRAPE THE BURNT GUNK OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE POT!!!!!!!
Throw the plastic stirring spoon in the trash, it is now beyond redemption.....
Sample the contents of the pot, to make sure the Chili does not taste like burnt plastic........
If salt content, desired degree of hotness and pungency are OK to your taste buds...
Then...
Pour the entire contents into your largest and nicest looking crock pot...
Put the pot with the burnt gunk into the sink with a scented detergent...
Recheck your makeup at this point.....
And re-spray your hair......
(Kitchen-duty sorta negates the prior make-up and hairstyling effort, but it does give the Chili a rather unusual flavor.......or it could be the Armadillo?)
Take the crock pot to the car.....
Drive to the Church.....
Get one of the stronger members to carry the pot in......
Smile when you get an award, and share your experience of just how difficult it was to take the entire Armadillo out of the shell.....
Agree with your Bishop that possum really would have been a better choice of meat, but that you did not set the possum-trap on your patio the night before, so you had to make do with the Dillo.....
It was, after all, an exercise in creativity, pioneer spirit and stewardship...the Bishop will understand...and grin at you...while inhaling a bowl of:
DILLY CHILI!!!!!!!!
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