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    Holiday FRUIT CAKE


    Source of Recipe


    Submitted by Michelle Messier


    Recipe Introduction


    This is a great recipe - no holiday would be complete without it. Make sure you read through once.


    List of Ingredients


    • 1 cup water
    • 1 cup sugar
    • 4 large eggs
    • 2 cup dried fruit
    • 1 teaspoon baking soda
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 1 cup brown sugar
    • lemon juice
    • nuts
    • 1 gallon whiskey


    Instructions


    1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
    2. Take a large bowl.
    3. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
    4. Pour 1 level cup and drink.
    5. Repeat.
    6. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
    7. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
    8. Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
    9. Turn off the mixer.
    10. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
    11. Mix on the turner.
    12. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

    13. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
    14. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.
    15. Check the whiskey.
    16. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
    17. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
    18. Grease the oven.
    19. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
    20. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
    21. Throw the bowl out of the window.
    22. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.


    Final Comments


    Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?
 

 

 

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