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I'd Put Martha To Shame

Source of Recipe

>^..^<


All by myself I wasn't much, but with a rich husband I could have been somebody. Maybe even the Martha Stewart of Tallulah, Tennessee. On account of my interest in the food industry, I read her magazine; I kept up like a regular person would. If I had a rich husband, why, I'd stuff my Thanksgiving turkey with sun-dried tomatoes, porcino mushrooms and fresh rosemary; or I could even stuff it with cornbread and prosciutto -- something I couldn't even begin to pronounce. I could just see me asking the butcher. With a bundle of money, I could host me an annual New Year's open house with champagne punch and four types of caviar; on Halloween I'd carve pumpkins to look like old men and space invaders; Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a live poinsettia tree, like the ones at Opryland, and a front yard filled with teeny white lights. Hell, I'd be so stylish I'd put Martha herself to shame.

-- Michael Lee West, from "American Pie: A Novel."