Obnoxious Things to do in a Taxicab
Source of Recipe
my own
when the cab pulls up, go to the drivers side and say, "Can I drive?"
pretend you are very interested in becoming a cabdriver and ask him all sorts of questions like, Do you need your grade 8 education? did you have to go to university? How much to you make?
go and buy 500 dollars worth of groceries and then call a cab, and pick up a carton of milk and pretend you put your back out. Have him load all the groceries, unload them and take them in the house and put them away.
Grab onto the dash board everytime he turns a corner
Make screeching sounds everytime he hits the brakes
when at a stop light, yell "READY, SET .......GOOOOOO!!! when the light turns green.
Pick your nose......and ask if you can borrow a kleenex. If he gives you a kleenex, use it and hand it back to him.
Smack your head on the side window everytime he turns a sharp corner
Give him a false address (that is if you have enough money to play with him)
Talk to your seatbelt eg. "WIll you QUIT choking me?" "Why are you squeezing me?"
Halfway through the trip, push all the buttons on his meter.
Grab his radio and strike up a conversation with the dispatcher. Tell the dispatcher that your cabbie is driving wildly and you want to report him.
Sit in the back seat and pretend you have (invisible) earphones on and do some head banging.
When sitting in the back seat, sit right in the middle, making sure your face is in his mirror and make faces at him while he is driving. When he turns corners fall on the floor.
Sit in the back seat and face backward, looking out the rear window. when another car pulls up behind the cab, pretend like you are fighting someone off.
Ask him how much money he is carrying
INSIST on riding in the trunk
Chew on some bubblegum and chew it really loudly, smacking your lips. Blow a big bubble and when it pops make sure is is all over the front window.
Ask him if he can drive really fast, then ask him to stop at the nearest bank as you have to make a very large withdrawl.
Deliberately drop a penny on the floor and insist on taking your seatbelt off and crawling all over the car looking for it.
Sniff incesantly and turn up your nose at the cab driver and ask him "Did you shower today?"
Insist on rolling the window down and hanging out the window like a dog. Bark at a few pedestrians.
Explain to the cabbie how proud you are of yourself that it has been 3 days since you had your last fit of rage. explain you have to attend the funeral of the poor victum of your last attack.
Ask the driver if he could stop at the nearest stop because you need to pee.
When you first get into the cab, act nice and normal...as the trip progresses start acting like you are getting drunker and drunker as the trip goes on.
FART really loudly and call the cab driver a "pig"
Grab the steering wheel
After giving him the address of where you want to go, insist on giving him the best and quickest directions to get there.
Tell him he drives like your dead grandma.
Point out all the faults in his driving.
Yell ignorant comments to pedestrians out the window.
Open the glove compartment and go through its contents, throwing things out the window that you don't think are important.
Ask the cab driver when the hell he plans on cleaning out the cab. Make a scene at all the mess in there.
Every 10 seconds ask the cabbie, "How much longer?"
Act like someone is chasing you, looking back behind you.....and yelling at the driver to hurry up.
Play the drums on the dash board to the beat of the music on the radio.
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