The Top 9 Courses at Maitre'd College
Source of Recipe
E-cookbooks
9. Economics 219: Maintaining your investment portfolio in a down economy through creative confirmation of dinner reservations.
8. Speech 312: The proper use of "snide" when people imitate your walk after hearing "Walk this way."
7. Logistics 180: Creatively delaying patron seating for the Restaurant Association-recommended minimum 30 minutes even when the restaurant is half full.
6. Philosophy 310: Existential Thought. Considers the age-old questions: "How many are we?" and "Is your name on the list?"
NOTE: Course content has changed. Discussion of "Smoking or Non?" is now covered in Philosophy 311: Coping With Certainty.
5. English Lit 240: Critical Appreciation of Fiction. A survey course covering popular reservation scams.
4. Public Relations 301: Ensuring that when you address the customer as "Sir," he knows you mean "Putrid Compost Heap."
3. Customer Triage 305: How to tell whether it's a slumming celebrity or simply white-trash tourists.
2. Theatre Arts 240: How to pimp desirable tables for $20 and still pretend to keep your dignity.
... and the #1 Course At Maitre'd College ...
1. History 101: Rating the American Presidents. Why Franklin is better than Grant, and why Washington is best known for his insulting behavior.
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