7 reasons not to mess with a kid
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Recipe Introduction
A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. The
teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of
children while they were drawing. She would occasionally
walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one
little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was. The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God." The
teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks
like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the
commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little
boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not
kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do
the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that
her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out
in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother
and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,
Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation
for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a
lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small
voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, She's dead. "
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would
run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes,"
the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving
further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.
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